If you want to make a serious offer, send me a retainer for $1,000 via the   "Payments" link on this website and I will fly to wherever you want to pen  the   deal.  All terms listed on the contract below are firm.    Wait! My editor says there's a lot of loons out there that might go for that... make it $10,ooo.

 If not , thank you for  your time  to look, and pass this offer on if you so choose. 

 "Jesus Christ, Jeffrey"  In the Middle Is currently Being Edited for Production